Cyber bullying or learning semiotics?

What do you do when your younger sibling is being bullied? Part of me wants to intervene and shield her from it. Part of me wants to step back and let her stand up for herself. Part of me wants her to fight back. Part of me wants her to walk away from it. Part of me wants her to delete all of her social media so that she can be safe from it all. Part of me thinks that it's just girls being girls.

I know that with the rise of social media, cyber bullying is a growing issue but I also think that it's the way kids communicate and express themselves these days. I remember when MSN was the predominant form of communicating when I was a teen. I also remember all the MSN wars and statuses indirectly directed at other kids.

I agree, social media adds an extra layer of pressure for teenagers to project an image of themselves in order to fit in. But I also think that it teaches them the semiotics that is relevant to their lives and culture. And dismissing it and trying to undermine it just distances us from the next generation.

No man's land.

I find myself struggling with my identity all the time. Being born and bred in Britain, yet having a Gujarati-Indian heritage and culture can often confuse a lost soul. Growing up I've been aware of the different cultures around me, as well as my own heritage. Having a mother from India made it impossible to escape the traditions and social conventions of a culture that I felt was displaced and irrelevant in the modernity of the United Kingdom. As young teen I never truly identified with my ancestral heritage; I could just about speak the language, with an awkward accent that my relatives abroad found hysterical; I didn't like the food much, as to an Indian, a curry isn't something special- its just food (chips and roast dinners would excite my palate more); the traditional clothing was uncomfortable and impractical during winter days; superstitions didn't quite make sense- although as a result of being brainwashed into thinking witches exist, I still don't go out after midnight. Throw Religion into the mix, and you get even more confusions.

However as I've tried to expand my knowledge, and move away from the conventions of my culture, I've found myself holding it closer to my heart more than ever. I believe it is down to moving away from home in the East Midlands to the West. Not a stark difference you say? My experience would say so otherwise. Despite being considered a diverse city, Wolverhampton's Asian population is much lower compared to my home town. According to the 2011 Census, the Asian population in Leicester was 37.1% out of a 329,839 total population. In comparison, the Asian population in Wolverhampton is 17.5% out of 249,470. I'm no Mathematician, but even I can see the difference.

Ok, lets put statistics aside, and focus more on the experience of being Asian and living in the West Midlands. Upon commencing uni and finding part time work I found myself experience very mild racial slander; despite being a diverse city, there was no awareness of the different cultures amongst the various groups. I found myself becoming stereotyped in conversations; my fate would be narrated to me by people that assumed I had strict parents, an arranged marriage, and could cook Indian food. People would often treat me differently and speak to me differently than to my friends, who were not Asian. I often thought that people perceive me in a certain way due to my personal choice to wear the Hijab; a symbol of my faith. This was quickly proven true when I have ventured outside without it on, and spoken to the very same people. Their behaviour and perhaps attitude towards me changed, and I was suddenly taken more seriously, and spoken to with some regards. Before I would be dismissed, and not felt welcome in group conversations; what could a small Asian Muslim girl have in common with the rest of the Western population, right?

Perhaps I was too self-conscious; perhaps this always existed around me but I was protected from it all by my parents who, if they had it in their power, would try to protect me and my siblings from even the wind. Upon ranting about my experiences with a White female friend, she disclosed something to me that had not crossed my mind before. She said that when she, or people she knows, see someone with a physical symbol of their faith, they assume that person has extreme views, and prefers to keep their group. I was quite shocked upon hearing this, and also slightly disappointed. Is this what people thought of me? Was I doing something to evoke this? Was this something the people I share my faith with doing, and if so, was it intentional?

This annoyed me for a while, and led me to question my faith. I do not have any extreme views, and nor do my family. In fact I've grown up witnessing my parents having nothing but courteous manners towards people from different ethnic groups and even religious groups. If anything, my religion has taught me to be respectful of those around me, and I have always strived to practice this fundamental guideline. However, these days it seems as though people that practice their faith are often categorized as narrow minded and primitive. It has become a trend to mock anyone that still practices their faith.

It frustrated me to think that I was considered an outsider or different, when all I've ever tried to do is balance my Western life along with my inherited culture and faith. This is still something I find myself battling with. When I am faced with the challenges of my culture I find myself criticising it, but when I hear others criticising I become defensive. I don't belong in India, yet there is no place for me in my birth country. I follow a secular religion, yet do not agree with everything that gets dictated.

However I have realised that I belong to a group of my own, and that is the group box often identified on Equality and Diversity forms that I have to tick. British-Asian. Ok, that was a no-brainer. But when I say British-Asian (as much as it makes me cringe for reasons that I will rant about in another blog post), I don't mean that radio show with the tasteful music.. I mean a group that is no different to the African-American, or African-British groups. We have in common, what W. E. B. Du Bois identified as 'Double Conciousness'; the challenge of balancing a distant yet inherent culture with a Western upbringing.

During my younger and naive days I would be embarrassed by my culture, language and practices but I have learnt to accept it because it has shaped me into the person I am today. I find my culture humbling and simple. I have been taught to respect elders and display good character and manners. Equally, I am proud to be born in a Western civilisation that allows me to flourish equally to those around me. It is important to recognise the combination of the two, the yin and yang as it were, that allows me to thrive as the person that I am, or hope to be.

I suppose as long as humans continue to focus on what makes us different from each other, this struggle will always remain, but there is nothing wrong with that. There is beauty to be found in all things strange. What makes this struggle difficult is when we remain ignorant and disrespectful to things unknown to us. We need to accept people for their differences. It's healthy to debate and explore, but don't criticise and slander. Like my main man MJ says, when you close your heart, you close your mind.

Turning my back on Education...?

..... Alas! My Blog-ginity is broken as I type my first blog post.

I've considered starting a blog for some time now, as a means of expressing my uncertified opinions, thoughts and feelings despite knowing readers may not be interested but lets face it, if you want to rant the internet is the best place to do so (I find that ranting in public only leads to warnings from the authorities and distasteful reactions from the public..)

So here goes!

Today I'm going to rant about *deep breath* Education. I've wanted to teach for a long time now, and I've followed all the right steps to get into teaching. I've studied a subject that I am passionate about -Literature. I've volunteered to gain experience in schools and in out-of school study centres. I've completed various training in Mentoring and Academic Coaching. I get on with teens and am passionate about helping them, and guiding them in their academic life. I have even been accepted on a competitive teacher training course and completed about 3 months of training before I threw the towel in.

Why did I throw away this dream? Teaching was not what I expected it to be, and I continued on the course despite knowing this, and having a nagging feeling inside that I may not want to teach in a secondary school (students aged 11-16 years). So as I stood there in front of my year 10 class (a bunch of 15 year olds who could just about read long words like 'curtain') teaching them Robert Browning's 'My Last Duchess', I realised I could not and did not want to continue down this career path.

First of all teaching is no longer about teaching. What I mean is, it's no longer about developing well-rounded individuals, or equipping pupils with the skills they'll need when they leave school and enter the adult world. The Government and Department of Education have made it impossible for teachers to focus solely on teaching; there are forms to fill, targets to achieve, data and statistics to record, league tables to compete in. Schools are run like businesses, and kids are expected to absorb all the information spouted out to them and are then made to sit exams to be assessed against a national standardised test.

Now I am not criticizing the examination system, however I fail to see how this process will ever benefit those 15 year olds with an attention span equivalent to that of a 5 year old. The government, the school, local authorities do not account for these pupils; how is sitting a GCSE examination beneficial for their future? All this does is stunt their learning and make them feel stupid so they find other ways to keep themselves occupied. They should be doing a different course like a level 1, 2, or 3 in literacy. Surely that is a better qualification than a F or G in GCSE English!? They may come out of school at a lower level, but at least they won't feel like complete failures. But no, the Govt don't care. Neither does the school. Its all about league tables.

The sad thing is that teachers can do little to change this. Now, I know you're going to say we can make a change if we really care but the truth is there is just not enough time. Teachers are put under constant pressure by their school to generate results and data. We may have many outstanding teachers that are able inspire kids, but they're so bloody bogged down by paperwork that it becomes impossible for them to deliver valuable lessons. We just moves kids along from one class to the next, hoping they've learnt something, and then they're someone else's problem. Now I'm not saying teachers I know are like this, or all teachers are like this, but its definitely the way the profession is headed.

So yeah. I quit. But I'm not completely turning my back on education (as my tutors implied). I am still passionate about education, and hope to help those poor little buggers when they come to me in college to resit their GCSE's. I think any type of teaching has its own pressures, but secondary is just beyond my capacity, and I wish my fellow ex-classmates all the best- here's to the future of teaching!